Marvel’s Ultimate Reliance – MUA2 Game Review

 

I claim this review in the name of Thor!  This was the sort of delightful nonsense that my partner had to endure when we played the original ‘Marvel Ultimate Alliance’ on the Xbox 360 (http://members.dooyoo.co.uk/xbox-360/marvel-ultimate-alliance-xbox-360/1063334/).  She would play the demure Invisible Woman, whilst I would play the bombastic Thor who took credit for everything, even if it had nothing to do with him.  The game was an excellent dungeon crawl game that allowed four players to join together as their favourite members of the Marvel world.  The settings were varied and the plot had a lightness that made it pacey and enjoyable.  When news of the sequel came about I was looking forward to more of the same high quality action, was I going to get it?

Gameplay

‘Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2’ (MUA2) is an action 3^rd person dungeon crawl game seen from over the heads of the various players.  It is an underrepresented genre of the current generation of consoles; the type of game that puts collecting loot on the same level as the level design.  To begin with you play as a set few members of the Marvel Universe, but as the game progresses you must chose a side to fight on, those mutants willing to sign a government naming register, and those that wish to remain anonymous.  Depending on which allegiance you choose will change which characters you can unlock.

No matter what side you join the basic button mashing gameplay remains the same.  There are jump and punch buttons as well as a new feature that allows you to join with another superhero in a powerful attack.  The first game in the series grew a little tiresome as the gameplay was the same button mash at the start as at the end.  The tiresome nature of the controls kicks in a lot earlier in ‘MUA2’ as it is so similar to what has gone before.  There is nothing essentially broken with the gameplay, just that it feels incredibly uninspired at times.  (3 out of 5)

Characters/Story

The Civil War storyline that shook the entire Marvel Universe in the comics is a revered set of graphic novels.  ‘MUA2’ takes this complex set of comics and distils them into a simple game narrative.  On some levels the story works as you can see from the side of the rebels that being forced to kneel to the government is no good thing.  However, I found it hard to sympathise with the slightly fascist route that the likes of Ironman took in the game.  The issue with the storyline is that it is merely there as a way to link random levels together, none of the nuances that made the comics so good is present.  By having a compelling central idea, at least the game has something, but it could have been a lot more. (3 out of 5)

Longevity

Though not as long as the original game, ‘MUA2’ is still a good 16+ hours worth of gameplay that covers both sides of the Civil War.  The problem lies in the fact that all the levels are essentially the same and the game become repetitive quite quickly.  You get some value for your money, but is the game too long?  The achievements are present as ever, most can be gained in one run through, but to get all the achievements, and play all the game, you will need to play the game twice, changing sides.  Approaching the storyline from a different direction is a good way of extending lifespan, but in real terms the levels are pretty similar no matter who you play as.  For completeists there is a lot of game here just that many people will give in before seeing it all.  (4 out of 5)

Online

It is perhaps the online elements of the Marvel Alliance games that
 make them fun to complete, even if the games themselves are flawed.  You can play as any mix of four players; be that two people in one house, alongside two people in separate houses.  This easy and convenient online gameplay means that it is fun to rattle through the entire game with friends over the internet.  The lag is pretty minimal, but more could have been done to reward players who are not the host.  (4 out of 5)

Graphics

‘MUA2’ is a game that has a lot going on at the screen at once as four heroes can take on many enemies.  For this reason the game has to simplify the graphics slightly to allow a lot to happen without slowdown.  Activision has successfully prevented slowdown and the graphics are a step up from the first game.  However, the use of dark colours, rather than the bright look of ‘MUA1’, means that the game looks muggier than it should have done. (3 out of 5)

Level Design

This is the one area in which the game seriously falls down on.  ‘MUA2’ is a dungeon crawler game disguised with a Marvel skin, with this comes the inherent problem with the genre – repetitive levels.  Each level is set in a completely different place, but all of them feel like the same reskinned dungeon.  Little is done to shake things up, and when they are shaken the mechanics of the game break e.g. a fight against a giant foe that left us all dead on many occasions.  The issue with the darker look of the game also makes the levels duller than they should be.  I think that the level design is poor enough that some players will not bother to complete the game.  (2 out of 5)

Sound

The comic book world has rich potential for sounds.  ‘MUA2’ does its best to recreate the frenzy of the graphic novel, but fails to do so.  The individually voiced heroes are excellent, but they repeat the same phrases too often.  Sound wise the crashes and explosions are drowned out by all the activity on screen, and the music is forgettable. (3 out of 5)

Summary

I enjoyed ‘Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2’, but I can see that other people would not.  The game is a solid dungeon crawler, and fans of this genre or the world of Marvel will get something from the game.  However, the game does have some uninspiring level design and gameplay that begins to grate towards the end.  Despite this, the ability to play offline or online with three other people is great and you can make your own entertainment as well as play the game.  For this co-op experience alone I feel it is worth a cheap buy. (3 out of 5)

Maker: Activision RRP £50
Amazon uk £16.96
Play.com £24.99

Amuseuming Film – Night at the Museum 2 Film Review

 

As a film lover I am sometimes ask myself why I care about cinema when so many bad films are made.  If I did not care so much perhaps I wouldn’t break out in occasional sweats when I consider a future of awful films sold only on the basis that they are in 3D.  The future of film looks to continue to move away from the concepts of characters and story and further into the reaches of visual spectacle.  The strange thing is that I will be the first person to love a cheesy action film or comedy, if they are made well.  One film that I found patronised audience members was ‘Night at the Museum’, it managed to think that all children needed in a film was a few bits of flashy CGI.  If I disliked the first film, why would any sane person watch the second?  Because I am cursed to forever watch every film made … 

Throughout the events of ‘Night at the Museum’ hero Larry never wanted to be a late night security guard at a magical museum.  By the time of ‘Battle of the Smithsonian’ he has realised his dream and become a successful inventor.  However, great success brings great responsibility so as Larry becomes busier at work he has less time to visit the museum and meet up with old friends.  When he finally gets around to hearing the news that the majority of the exhibits are being moved to a vast underground facility under the Smithsonian, Larry realises that all hell could break lose.  Therefore, one night at the Smithsonian, Larry must once again recover the cursed Tablet and stop all exhibits of the vast Smithsonian coming to life. 

As a sequel ‘Smithsonian’ does everything that it should do, and more.  I was not a fan of the first film as I found it a sorry excuse to put CGI on the screen and had little in terms of story.  For all intents and purposes director Shawn Levy does the same thing with the sequel, but with a few differences that make the experience far more enjoyable.  All the best elements of the first film remain.  The concept of historic people and creatures coming to life is a good one, and more are present here than before.  However, as an added bonus you get to see works of art come alive, a far more bizarre experience that adds an amusing sense of the unreal to the film.

The excellent ensemble cast is also back.  Ben Stiller is given slightly less to do as he has to make way for the likes of Amy Adams as Amelia Earhart and Hank Azaria as Kahmunrah.  Favourites like Steve Coogan and Owen Wilson also return.  I think that the writers looked at what the strongest elements of the first film were in term of characters; so we get more Coogan and less Robin Williams.  At times the weighting of character development does feel a little like the film was written by a committee who gauged audience reactions from the first film.  This style of film development can lead to some very stale movies, but here it actually works as they chose all the best bits to improve and jettisoned the worst.

Although given slightly less to do in terms of character, Stiller is better in this film.  He no longer sleepwalks through the role of Larry.  This is because the script is far superior in terms of edge and comedy than the first film.  Whilst ‘Night 1’ was aimed at a young audience, ‘Night 2’ provides the kids with some visual entertainment, but also has some funny dialogue moments for the adults.  Seemingly improvised moments between Stiller and the likes of Jonah Hill and Ricky Gervais are funnier than anything seen in the first film.  I think that with the success of the first film all ready in hand Stiller was able to throw his creative weight around to make sure the quality of writing was up to the standard of the special effects.  You may have noticed that I have not mentioned director Shawn Levy much.  This is because I feel he does little more than point the camera at the actors and instruct CGI boffins to create the backgrounds.  On BluRay the film does look great and the CGI is far superior to the previous film as it no longer looks unrealistic.  I think that the best think Levy did in this film was to work with the talented people around him.

A common rule of film is that a sequel is nearly always worse than the original.  The important part of this sentence is the word – nearly.  ‘Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian’ is a rare example of the film makers getting a second chance at a film and making it better.  Essentially, this film is the original ‘Night’ again, but bigger, funnier and with a decent story.  It gladdens the heart to see that some film makers still care enough to actually improve their work rather than churn out a lazy film.  With its comedy moments and fun action ‘Night at the Museum 2’ is the decent family film that the first outing never was. 

Director:           Shawn Levy

Year:                2009

Cert:                 PG

Starring:            Ben Still et al.

Price:                Amazon uk       £17.91 (BluRay)

                        Play.com          £17.99 (BluRay)                     

Extras

The BluRay transfer is an excellent one and enhances the CGI heavy elements of the film and also the colours on offer.  In terms of extras the BluRay comes prepacked with BluRay, DVD and Digital editions.  There are also numerous featurettes that look into the making of the film and a decent film maker’s commentary.

The Man Who Knew Too Little – The Wrong Man Film Review

 

Injustice is a powerful emotion.  Who hasn’t become angry when reading about someone being locked up for years for something they never did.  Perhaps, you are more angered by the injustice of someone being given too little time behind bars for a callous act.  The only thing stopping our heads from exploding when seeing this type of news is the belief that it would never happen to us.  Secretly you think that the accused must have been doing something wrong to be mixed up with the wrong people.  Why would any innocent people be in the bad part of town?  We are safe because we live a safe life, but is this true? Manny thought so, but that did not stop his life spiralling out of his control.

Manny Balestrero is a musician and family man.  He works late nights struggling to earn enough money to keep his small family housed and clothed.  Like any struggling family, they sometimes need to borrow money.  With this in mind Manny heads off to the insurance office to see if he can get a loan on his wife’s policy.  Unbeknownst to him just a few weeks earlier a man had held up the same insurance office.  According to the woman at the office this man was, in fact, Manny.  Suddenly a chain of events, coincidences and incompetence leads to the arrest of the wrong man.  Can Manny prove his innocence before he is sent down?

‘The Wrong Man’ is in so many ways a carbon copy Hitchcock.  The noir setting and the accusation of the wrong man is a reoccurring theme for his films; however, what sets ‘The Wrong Man’ apart is that it is based on a true story.  Like any feature film ‘The Wrong Man’ probably embellishes on the truth and rewrites some of the history in order to create a better narrative.  However, the facts remain that a man named Manny Balestrero was arrested and charged for a series of armed robberies that he could never have committed.  It is with this sense of injustice that the bile of indignity will rise in the viewer as the film progresses; a bile that Hitchcock plays on to perfection.

The way that Manny is steamrolled is classic film noir.  He starts off believing that as he is innocent, he just has to remain calm for things to return to normal.  However, the stupidity of the witnesses and the narrow focus of the police mean that he discovers too late that he is already the culprit in the minds of those that matter.  This is a film that makes the blood boil at times, and although it was released in 1956, the sense of injustice still works perfectly for today’s society.  The way that a quiet family life is dismantled is brilliantly directed by Hitchcock and you really get to care about the characters.

Hitchcock films are always best when there is a strong lead actor and this is the case with ‘The Wrong Man’.  Henry Fonda is outstanding as Manny; his natural quiet dignity is perfect for the role.  He wanders through the film with a sense of bewilderment, but always manages to hold things together for the sake of his family.  Perhaps in this quiet dignity is the one area of the film that I disliked.  At no point does Manny get angry; even in segments that would allow righteous indignity; he remains calm to the point of no emotions.  You as the viewer are more likely to become wrapped up in emotions rather than the lead character.  As for the over acting of Vera Miles as Mrs Balestrero the less said the better.  All this came about because of her need for a set of braces.

‘The Wrong Man’ is vintage Hitchcock, although not perhaps one of his absolute classics it remains an excellent thriller that is well directed and brilliantly acted in the part of Fonda as Manny.  The setting and time period may be dated, but the emotions and injustices that the film raises are timeless.  You feel trapped in an episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’, only for you to remember that the film is based on true events.  This is perhaps not the easiest film to watch, but a great film none the less.       

Director:           Alfred Hitchcock

Year:                1956

Cert:                 15

Starring:            Henry Fonda

Price:                Amazon uk       £12.87

                        Play.com          £12.99

                        CD Wow         £11.99

Extras

The two extras that appeared on the DVD version of the film I watched were the trailer and an interesting documentary about how Hitchcock brought the true story to the screen.

Moonshi*e – Moon by James Herbert Book Review

 

A lot has moved on since the mid 80s including computers and horror fiction.  In the 80s you would all be crammed around the one screen typing in basic code so that you could change red dots into green, amazing.  Horror fiction was written by aging blokes whose flowery language made some of the books uncomfortable to read.  I take my initial statement back; computers have changed immensely over the past 30 years, but horror fiction is still written by old man using flowery language.  The likes of King, Koontz and Herbert have been stalwarts of the genre for years, but have any of them actually produced their best work in recent years?  No, you need to go back to the time of the humble BBC and tales of psychic investigators to get their best work – or is it?

Jonathan Childes has moved away from the English mainland after he was implemented in the murders of several children.  He was not the killer, but a psychic who saw visions of the deaths.  However, the stigma would not leave him so be moved to a quiet island community and got a part time job as an IT teacher in a posh private school.  Here he met Amy, a fellow teacher and his new love.  Things seem to be settling down for Jon, until the visions return.  Once again Jon begins to see images of death and violence.  His new life is shattered as the locals begin to realise that there is more to this mild mannered man than first meets the eye.  Can Jon discover what the images are about before he is ostracised from the island?  Will Amy understand why he kept his past hidden?

I am a fan of James Herbert’s writing, but it does vary vastly in quality.  ‘Moon’ sits squarely in the middle range of his work and reads almost like a by numbers attempt when compared to his better works.  The use of a reluctant psychic as the lead is not a new one, even back in 1985 when the book was published.  This means that Herbert is immediately struggling to bring anything to the genre, and he certainly does not.  At its best the book is a pot boiler that builds the tension up slowly.  The first half is an effective look at how a cursed man’s perfect life can fall apart if he sees visions of the dead.  I enjoyed the way that Herbert hinted at the horrors and concentrated more on character development than brutal slayings. 

It is the second half of the book that Herbert abandons this slow pace and the book loses its way.  In some of his work, e.g. ‘Once’, Herbert can, in some part, rescue an abysmal book by having an exciting horror ending.  In ‘Moon’ this is almost the exact opposite.  A sophisticated ghost story is plunged into below average thriller territory as the book shifts in style and pace to that of a crime novel.  At times it almost feels that this is two separate novels that have been stitched together to make a whole; not the only time that a novel by Herbert has done this.

There are also issues once again with Herbert’s writing style.  His use of language is outstanding and he adds a sense of intelligence and poetry to horror.  However, it is also incredibly old fashioned in feel.  When describing the denizens of hell, this is not an issue as his language on occasion can take on Poe like levels of quality.  However, this is a novel that deals with some very modern technology as the character of Jon is an IT teacher.  The fact that technology from 1985 is incredibly dated is only compounded by Herbert’s olde worlde language.  It seems that during the 80s Herbert was genuinely intrigued by the future of computers, but he describes them in such an old fashioned manner that the book is unintentionally funny in places. 

I must not be overly harsh with ‘Moon’ as the first section that leads up to the horror elements is vintage Herbert.  The slow ghost story and blossoming love affair is a pleasure to read as well as being mildly spooky.  Even the later elements that see the pace increase and the consequences darken are still of a decent enough standard to make the book readable.  The dated feel of the book is fine in the areas of fashion and attitude, only the repeat references to redundant technology jar.  ‘Moon’ is a fun ghost story that does not delve too deeply into the macabre.  I would suggest that first time readers of the author try one of his better books e.g. ‘Shrine’, and leave this one for the completeists.

Author:                                James Herbert                 

Year:                      1985

Price:                    amazon uk – £4.17

                                play.com – £5.49

Return to Pantsdora – Avatar Film Review

 

1997, I think back to that time as almost a different life now; different town, different partner, different film choices.  We went to see ‘Titanic’ and it became known as a ‘Two Wee-er’, this was because the film was so long and boring that I went for a wee twice during it.  To think that this, at best, average film swept the Academy Awards was a little depressing.  Add the fact that it was directed by James Cameron, who had created genre classics such as ‘Terminator’ and ‘Aliens’, and I grew increasingly depressed.  When ‘Avatar’ was announced I was equal parts excited and wary.  Would this be the overblown, storyless gubbins of 1997, or the exciting all out action of the years before?

When Jake Sully loses the use of his legs he is not much use to society in 2154 Earth.  However, fate has a perverse way of things and when his twin brother dies it opens a once in a life time opportunity to the former marine.  He is flown light years away to the moon Pandora, where a private mining company has set up an operation to harvest the rare ore unobtanium.  The only problem is that the 11 foot blue locals are not too sure about the greedy capitalist entity.  Therefore, their scientists have come up with a way to build trust.  Highly trained individuals will be able to control avatar versions of the aliens that look like the locals.  Jake is given one such shell body and with it he becomes close to Neytiri, the daughter of a leading clansman.  Can Jake convince the Na’vi people to work with the RDA Corporation, before military action is undertaken?

I am not a fan of hype.  In fact, I am so against forced PR that I will go into an overhyped film looking to actively dislike it.  Unfortunately, this was the mindset that I went into a 3D showing of ‘Avatar’ with.  Cameron was going to have to do something special to change my mind – he did not.  This is a film that has gone on to break Cameron’s own box office record of ‘Titanic’, but it is not even as good as that film.  Although a lot of money has been taken, actual bums of seats is not as high as many classics such as ‘Gone with the Wind’, or ‘Star Wars’.  If you charge £12 to see a film, you are going to make more money than the £3.95 I was charged for ‘Titanic’ in 1997.

Even with inflation taken into account ‘Avatar’ is still a monster hit.  It has probably cursed us all to a few years of mediocre 3D films that have no story, but wizzy effects.  There are some elements of ‘Avatar’ that are outstanding.  In terms of the special effects and the 3D, they are probably the best ever put on screen.  Directed with 3D in mind Cameron gives the film more depth than many recent films that have been converted after they are filmed.  Also the use of colour is very impressive as the machine gun grey world of the humans contrasts brilliantly with the bright colours and fluorescents of Pandora.

I believe that your love of ‘Avatar’ will depend on how regularly you watch films.  I am an avid cinema goer and film watcher – since 1995 I have pretty much watched most major releases.  Therefore, watching another film that has no storyline is highly depressing.  A giant CGI dinosaur thing may look impressive, but I don’t really care much about one giant CGI blob attacking another giant CGI blob.  The storyline on offer in ‘Avatar’ is appallingly simple, to the point were it might as well not exist.  The characters are flat and Cameron obviously hoped you were too busy being in awe of the 3D to care.  Despite, my depressed view of the film’s story, none regular film goers will probably love the accessibility the plot gives the film.  Some people just want to go to the cinema and see giant things – they will love this film!

I genuinely found the film dull at times and took to looking at my watch waiting for it to end.  In a sea of CGI films I am no longer impressed with visuals alone, no matter their quality.  The first ‘Transformers’ film, or ‘Ironman’ are visual treats, but they also have funny dialogue and good characters.  Also the lack of any sort of light relief or humour in ‘Avatar’ was a little bizarre to me.  For me, ‘Avatar’ is a film that you have to see at the cinema, preferably in the 3D format.  Once you get a DVD version of the film a lot of the visual impact of the film will be lost and perhaps these people will see the same thing I did.  Without the wondrous graphics, the film is strangely empty of life.  The characters and story are dulled by the extreme beauty of the landscape.  As time progresses and CGI improves further people may look less kindly on ‘Avatar’.  The likes of ‘Ben Hur’ look naïve today, but the compelling style and story keeps it worth watching; can the same be said of ‘Avatar’? 

Director:           James Cameron

Year:                2009

Cert:                 12

Starring:            Sam Worthington

Pope on a Rope – I Confess Film Review

 

When the Pope writes a letter apologising about something, it should be considered a big deal.  The Vatican and Catholic Church have made some big mistakes in their time, but rarely do they apologise for them.  Therefore, when the Pope says that what happened in Ireland over the past 40 years was wrong, he is admitting it happened.  The argument is that the Fathers involved have a right to confession.  If someone goes in expecting their secrets to remain between them and their priest, then surely that should happen?  By keeping their silence the Church can at least try to help those that would have otherwise remain silent forever.  However, if someone admits to an appalling act, is it not the law to tell the police?  This is not a new phenomenon, Hitchcock explored the sanctity and issues surrounding confession all the way back in 1953.

When young Father Logan is tidying up the church he is forced to here the confession of a desperate man.  Otto Keller is an immigrant who lives with his wife in the Church grounds and acts as a handyman.  Whilst visiting a shady neighbour he flies into a rage and mistakenly kills the man!  Now that Father Logan holds the burden of knowledge will he go to the police?  The sanctity of confession means that he cannot.  The burden gets ever heavier when he himself becomes the chief suspect.  The dead man was blackmailing a female friend of the priest, a woman that Father Logan once dated and that the police still believe he has feelings for.  Will Father Logan confess the truth to the courts before he is hanged for another man’s crimes?

I am a huge fan of Hitchcock’s films, but like with any prolific director, some of his work is better than others.  I have found that even the most average of Hitchcock’s work is interesting on some level, be it via cinematography or concept.  Therefore, it was a surprise to see how run of the mill ‘I Confess’ was; almost as if the director was obligated to release an bog standard thriller before being allowed to work on something he actually wanted to.  The classic Hitchcock elements are present and should be set up for a good film; the femme fatalle and the wrongly accused man are stables of the director, but in ‘I Confess’, it just does not work. 

One issue is that by using the mistaken identity ploy Hitchcock is automatically placing ‘I Confess’ up for comparison with his own films.  Films like ‘The Wrong Man’ and ‘The Man Who Knew Too Much’ are similar in nature, but far more compelling.  The lack of drive in the film is down to a couple of issues. The first is the core concept itself.  For the film to work you really have to believe that Father Logan would sacrifice his life rather than simply telling the authorities about the murder.  There are some convoluted reasons why perhaps Logan would not want to suggest who the murderer is, but really it is down to the confession.  However, I have to believe that a moral man would want a killer brought to justice, sure in the knowledge that his place with God was still sound.

Even if you can suspend your disbelief with the central conceit of confession, there are other major issues.  The casting is pretty poor throughout.  Montgomery Clift as Father Logan is as about as wooden as they come.  He gives no sense of urgency or emotion to the character as he sees his life slip away.  I would think that a Father with so little compassion would not be popular with his congregation.  Playing opposite him is Anne Baxter as Ruth Grandfort.  Somehow she also manages to come across as cold, making the film feel heartless.

With a bland cast, Hitchcock appears to be on auto pilot as the film progresses.  The unique directorial flourishes are not apparent, and the script is seemingly taken without change from a stage play.  The fact that the story hinges on a slightly convoluted set of circumstances means that as a viewer you are unable to truly commit to the film.  In the end, ‘I Confess’ is a slightly dull thriller that is one of Hitchcock’s weaker films.

Director:           Alfred Hitchcock

Year:                1953

Cert:                 15

Starring:            Montgomery Clift and Anne Baxter

Price:                Amazon uk       £4.96

                        Play.com          £3.64                   

Extras

Like with many Hitchcock films there are several versions that you can get on DVD.  The copy I have is a clean print with one featurette about the making of the film.  Like all the DVDs in the series the documentary is informative, but does use some of the same material over separate films.

Ice Headache – Icebox Book Review

 

If you go to Disney World you can see countless attractions; the Disney parade, Space Mountain, the Pirates of the Caribbean, to name but three.  One attraction that you won’t see is the head of Walt Disney suspended in Nitro Glycerine.  There has always been an urban myth that when Walt died he requested that his head be saved in preparation for when technology was advanced enough to graft it onto a new body.  With the onset of CGI cartoons, in favour of traditional hand drawn animation, Walt might take one quick look at this brave new world and be asked to be put back on ice.  The problem with granting eternal life is that the planet is already full, the ability to gift people a new body will end up with the rich and famous living forever, whilst the plebs wither and die.  All this is pie in the sky thinking as to make such technology exist, someone needs to experiment in the area of cryogenics – Mark Bastable’s ‘Icebox’ tells an amusing tale of one such scientist.

Dr Gabriel Todd has a tattoo on his body that says ‘cut here’.  At the point of death he plans to have his head removed and cryogenically frozen.  Sounds silly?  It appears that many rich people like the idea of a future life, so they are funding his research.  Meanwhile, over in Britain, Don is trapped in a relationship with his own mad scientist, Unity.  She is obsessed with illness, and Don is about had enough, especially when he meet the new girl at work.  When Dr Todd comes over from the States with his partner, the lives of Dr Todd, Don and Unity are about to become entwined.  Throw in a frozen head and you have a real adventure.

With the core concept of cryogenics and other fringe science I was fully prepared for ‘Icebox’ to be a science fiction novel.  However, after a few pages I soon realised that this was thinly veiled Lad Lit and that the science elements take a back seat to the relationships of the characters.  The concept of cryogenically freezing a head is not seen through the prism of science, but of how it would affect you to decapitate a loved one.  Sounds grim, but in fact the book is a little sickly sweet if anything. 

I am not adverse to a little romantic fiction designed for men, on occasion.  Therefore, once I got over the initial shock of the book being a completely different genre than I first expected, I was ready to give it a try.  I need not have bothered as the book as enough flaws to make it one of the most irritating novels that I have read for a while.  On a positive note, Bastable creates a set of characters that will not conform to any stereotype.  He has gay characters, gamblers and egotists abound.  No type of relationship is taboo to the author and the various guises of sexual preference and given an everyday mundane feel that is refreshing – why can’t a lead character be gay and it have little effect on the actual story?

The main issue with book stems from Bastable’s informal characters.  Usually a Lad Lit book has a slightly flawed, but likable, male lead.  In ‘Icebox’, Don is an idiot.  In fact, I pretty much disliked every single character and could not really care about any of them being happy.  This is a real problem for this book as there is a pivotal set of scenes that faces of the various factions against one another.  Each has a different point of view that is valid on some level.  However, rather than being an intelligent piece of writing in which different readers will side with different people – I cared for none of them.

There is also a problem with the fact that Bastable’s writing comes across as a little smug.  This is meant to be an amusing novel, but I did not laugh once.  Bastable seems to think that we will laughing like a drain and that is a major problem as you  wonder what he is writing about at times as he wanders down apparently amusing side alleys.  If the characters had been slightly more likeable, the situations that they found themselves in may have been more amusing.  Perhaps the once standout scene is set in an underworld club that caters for the strange deviances of the few.  Their love of 1970s boardgames!  This segment is fun, but by concentrating on a set period in time e.g. early 70s boardgames like ‘Mousetrap’, you are alienating any readers who are older, or younger, than Bastable’s own generation.  This permeates throughout the book as at it has dated badly since its publishing date of 2000.

I am in two minds (both still attached to my body) about whether the book was flawed because I was expecting science fiction, or just because it was poorly written.  There is no denying that the idea of using a frozen head as a MacGuffin should be amusing, but the cryogenics is more of a red herring than a true plot point, to the point were they need not have bothered at all with it at times.  This is romantic fiction all about relationships and not science.  It is a real shame that Bastable is not even able to get this right as he creates a bunch of people you could not care twice about.  In the end ‘Icebox’ is a book that is unable to cater for any group and ends up just being bad.

Author:                 Mark Bastable

Year:                      2000

Price:                    amazon uk – £0.01 second hand

Damned if it Don’t – Damnation Game Review

 

As competitions go, coming second is sometimes the new first.  Many popsters have successfully taken over the person that beat them in ‘Generic Pop Comp Factor’.  Several silver medals earned in the 80s and 90s have been upgraded as one by one the Americans come out as drug cheats.  No, second place is not always a bad thing and can lead to a bright future. This is what the developer Blue Omega Entertainment must have hoped when their Unreal mod ‘Damnation’ was picked up by publisher Codemasters and set to be a full game after it had finished second in a competition.  Several years later and the game arrived, only for Blue Omega to fold.  Was the game so bad that it could shut a studio?

Gameplay

‘Damnation’ is set in a steampunk/Western world in which the good folk in the rebel camp are rising against a fascist robot army.  Player one controls a generic cowboy, whilst player 2 plays a series of allies depending on the level.  As a third person shooter/platformer, you take the view point behind your character.  The USP of the game is that you get to cross vast levels that appear huge in scale.  As a game ‘Damnation’ throws too many elements at the gamer; shooting, platforming and driving elements.  Rather than concentrate on making one area excellent, Blue Omega made all the parts awful. 

The shooting feels loose and is made worse by some abysmal enemy AI.  Two co-op pals can easily beat the game on the hardest level because the enemies are so stupid.  Blue Omega must have known their game was broken because they added the ability to heal your co-op pal from anywhere.  This is because you will be dying and reviving a lot.  Just make sure that one person stays back to heal the other.  The platforming is also pretty bad.  The collision detection is flimsy, to say the least, so you have a habit of missing jumps.  This is not aided by a dodgy camera that hinders the player.  Finally, the mini driving parts are truly shocking.  The game engine cannot handle the speed and jerks around far too much to be fun.  The only saving grace with the gameplay is that it is easy enough that you may as well complete the game. (2 out of 5)

Characters/Story

Perhaps this is one area that Blue Omega could gain some respect as it is not based on technical ability.  The idea of a steampunk world with a Wild West mentality is a decent one.  ‘Borderlands’ went on to take the idea to a new level and make a great game; ‘Damnation’ never did.  A confused story, told in a patchy manner means that I had no idea what was going on, nor cared for any of the characters.  The only parts that did work were the ever present propaganda messages coming over the loud speakers.  At least these gave me a sense of what was going on. (2 out of 5)

Longevity

I am tempted to say that ‘Damnation’ is a game that lasts as long as you can stand to play it.  However, as someone who did complete it the game is a reasonable 7-10 hours long.   (3 out of 5)

Online

Another of ‘Damnation’s’ saving graces is that the game is co-op online.  This one element prevents it from being one of the very worst games on the 360.  As someone who plays co-op a lot, I can attest that any game is better with a pal.  There is quite a lot of enjoyment that can be gained by ripping into a game’s failings together.  The co-op itself did not really involve having to solve puzzles together, but for one person to always act as a defence, the other attack.  The connection remained stable throughout.  (3 out of 5)

Graphics

I have played games for many years and during the late 90s and early 2000s I dabbled in the PC market.  The dawn of 3D graphics meant that improving my PC to keep up started to cost too much.  ‘Damnation’ looks like one of the last games that I played on PC around 10 years ago.  The textures are poor, the number of glitches and pop ups are unforgivable.  The lack of coherent colour palette makes the game harder than it should be as you look for a way out.  In truth, there are fewer games that are as ugly as ‘Damnation’ and still remain playable. (1 out of 5)

Level Design

An area that should have been the standout for the game is the level design.  Blue Omega sold ‘Damnation’ on the premise that the scale would be huge.  This is certainly the case as you pan across each level as you arrive, and they often stretch across a wide expanse.  The levels are also multi tiered so you have to work your way up and down, as well as across.  This should have worked well, but in fact it is a little poor.  For all the options you can have to get anywhere, you end up following the linear path from one end of a level to another.  The expanses seem to hang in the air like some sort of fantasy and are more in common with the magical DLC levels of ‘Mirror’s Edge’, than the world of steampunk.  (2 out of 5) 

Sound

Forgettable is probably the best way to describe the sound work on ‘Damnation’ as that is what I have done.  The music is none descript and the voice acting is on par with the low budget nature of the game.  There is nothing annoying about anything that you hear, but nothing stands out. (2 out of 5)

Summary

‘Damnation’ is a game that came incredibly close to being a 1 star Sammy Stinker.  The graphics, level design and gameplay are all well below what you expect from a modern game.  However, for all its many faults one area it did get right was the solid co-op element.  This meant that the painful experience of playing the game can be shared with a pal.  The numerous mistakes suddenly become a source of amusement and you can play the game knowing that someone will be able to heal you should you inevitably fall.  I picked this game up for £5 a copy and for that it was just worth it. (2 out of 5)

Maker: Blue Omega RRP £50
Amazon uk £8.79
Play.com £37.99

License to Drive – Sex Drive Film Review

 

The humble teen comedy has become grubbier in recent years than an all night mud wrestling review.  The 80s saw more than its fair share of slightly dubious comedies, but there is a certain charm to the likes of ‘Porky’s’ that is not relevant to today’s audience.  Magazines and TV shows would have us believe that the youngsters of today are at it more than a field of Easter bunnies; so the film industry tends to reflect this attitude.  Crass straight to DVD films try and cash in on the ‘American Pie’ franchise, without any of the character or sentimentality that actually made the first in that series bearable.  Most ‘sex’ comedies of today are misogynistic, chauvinistic, and dubiously racist films that even the target audience tend to dislike.  With a name like ‘Sex Drive’, this must be the case here? 

Ian is the archetypical teen film loser.  More at home on the PC than at school he is seriously losing with the ladies.  Therefore, when an online lady offers him the chance of a sure thing (scarily similar to that found in the 25 year old film ‘The Sure Thing’) Ian does not need too much convincing by his morally dubious best buddy Lance.  With no wheels they decide to ‘borrow’ Ian’s brother’s car.  Rex is not a man to be messed with and when he discovers his motor is gone, he sets out on a path of revenge.  With Ian and Lance ready for a road trip the last thing they need is Ian’s childhood friend Felicia coming along.  She has been stringing him along for years and stopping him from moving on.  Can the three of them make it across America intact so that Ian’s virginity no longer has to be?

‘Sex Drive’ is a film that is just about as crass as the synopsis hints.  This is a film that is based solely around a young man hoping to get into bed with a woman he has never met.  The shocking thing is that this is a highly unoriginal concept as there have been many road movies based around the very subject, or a variation.  ‘The Sure Thing’ and ‘Road Trip’, to name but two.  With such base subject matter ‘Sex Drive’ immediately struggles to be seen as anything but grubby.  Therefore, to find a decent comedy hidden beneath the puerile is actually a nice surprise.

The initial moments bode well as when loading up the BluRay the director Sean Anders comes on screen and urges you to watch the cinema release and not the extended cut.  Whenever I watch a home release of a film I often just watch the cinema cut as the extended sections usually make the film flabby, and in the case of comedies add unfunny rude sections (see extended cut of ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’).  Anders says just this and with the help of two naked people (bloke in all) you get the idea to watch the cleaner, tighter cut.  I found this a refreshing and honest attempt to urge the viewer to stick to the director’s initial vision.  This level of slight sophistication is perhaps what lifts the film from the inane into the decent. 

Story wise the film is basically a linear excuse to get the characters to jump from situational comedy to situational comedy.  Therefore, it is up to the ‘sketches’ themselves to make the film fun.  In this case I did not think that the film stood out over any of its contemporaries and was a mildly entertaining watch.  The sections set in prison or an Amish community were ok, but could have been played better.

It is not the comedic situations that make the film a fun watch, but the actors.  Josh Zuckerman as the hapless Ian is just the right level of needy and pathetic, but likable, so that you follow his urges for 90 mins.  Less successful are Amanda Crew and Clark Duke as Felicia and Lance.  They play well off Ian, but as themselves they ring a little false.  It is the cameo appearances from the likes of Seth Green and James Marsden that act as the standout moments that are genuinely funny.  This was never a film that was going to be spectacular, but the cast do a good job with an average script so that the film rips along at a good pace.

Director wise, comedies are always hard to judge and this is once again the case with Anders.  The individual shots don’t stand out and the need for High Definition is minimal.  However, where Anders should be praised is his containment of the story and keeping the pace up.  As well as directing the film Anders had a hand in writing the screenplay.  This meant that he was able to stick to the plot points that he was aiming for at the very beginning.  Too many teen comedies appear to be little more than an excuse to string together gross scenes and female nudity.  There are no slow points in the film that make you wonder why you are watching yet another teen gross out movie. 

Despite its ultra insensitive name ‘Sex Drive’ is one of the milder gross out films that I have seen in recent years.  Despite nearly every character having a preoccupation with sex, director Sean Anders and the cast still manage to infuse the film with enough sentimentality and naivety to stop it becoming creepy (one scene in the fun fair aside).  As with all comedies in the gross out genre, it will not appeal to anybody who does not like the sight to puke and other bodily functions.  As someone who has pretty much done with the genre, it takes a decent script and good comedy performances to make a film even average in my eyes.  Therefore, the fact that I am willing to give ‘Sex Drive’ even a modicum of respect means that there is something worth watching beneath the layers of grime. 

Director:           Sean Anders

Year:                2008

Cert:                 15

Starring:            Josh Zuckerman

Price:                Amazon uk       £7.85 (BluRay)

                        Play.com          £7.99 (BluRay)                      

Extras

As with most comedy films the BluRay format is not really needed as much of the film is based around character and not the direction.  However, it is a good transfer and the road movie scenes do look good.  The menu itself is also pretty cool.

There are plenty of extras on the disc including a gag reel and some featurettes.  The featurette about James Marsden is the best one as it has him playing the character of himself as an arrogant bighead and the cast and crew hating him.  The disc also comes with both editions of the film.  I only watched the original edition, but for those people who like gratuitousness, then try the cruder cut.